---·Ending·---
I feel like everything is coming to an end without knowing why. Half of the year 2020 is over, the series I was following is finished, the I graduated from the master I was studying in Spain, and the roommates are moving way.
No news from the internship I applied, and I don't know where to go in the future: return to China or stay in Spain? Should I give up my newly acquired residency for going to another country for internship or stay in Spain to find a job? It seems that every choice means giving up, and every action has its price to pay.
---·Dream·---
Two years seem like a dream, which is still unfinished. I still remember my birthday in 2018. I was on the train to Beijing, and I couldn't even imagined things that I would go through: I went to France for a man who was not worth it, I dealt with the landlord and the police, my roommate and I made a webserie of my romantic relationships in Spain...
The original ending of the webserie is not like this, but I meet him again many years later, I give my diary to him, turned away and started a new life. For various reasons, we didn't make this scene. Maybe this is the reality. You may never reencounter the people you missed. So you will continue to miss him, as the time goes by, his face, his voice, the past you used to share became as vague as a dream, remember only that feeling, which is enough to support you to get through the days.
Sometimes you don't even know whether you want to wake up from your dream; You can wake up from a dream one day, but what about the reality? When will the past becomes a history?
---·Beginning·---
In the past two years, I have gained a lot through my own efforts. Like the Chariot, he returns with triumph, but he also represents a new journey. But I am a little tired, just want to lie in bed, just want to be in a daze looking at the ceiling. Like the Queen of Wands, when feeling tired, sit down and take a break, cool your head, check again and again. June 30th to summarize, July 1st to rest, July 2nd to start a new life, start watching a new serie, learn a new song. The beginning is not what you do, but when you let go.
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