This article is entirely personal, and you are welcome to proper comment.
Fear is an indispensable reason for human survival, because it can make us more alert and avoid risks. Because of fear, we only know how to protect ourselves, how to stay united, how to continue the human civilization to today.
But many times it is difficult for people to control the fear and turn it into over-reaction. For those of us who live a normal life, the chances that our lives get threatened are small, unlike bodyguards, police and soldiers on the battlefield, they are face with danger almost every day. For us ordinary people, fear manifests itself in the fear that others will discover secrets and we choose to lie; that others will look down upon us and become arrogant; the fear of being hurt again makes us choose to isolate or hide ourselves. It can be said that many of the "negative" attitudes in our lives generate from fear. How does fear manifest itself in love matters?
Before answering this question, I want to talk about my personal experience: I am 23 years old, but still single, and I want to have a serious relationship, because I want to know what love is like. So I used all kinds of dating apps, because I found that even in foreign countries, as a gay, if I do not use software, it is very difficult to meet people. But on the software, I found many people that only looked for one-night stands and didn't want a stable relationship. Some people say they want to live the life; others have just end a relationship and want to relax; in any case, I have never met the person who wants to be serious. I think "live the life" is an excuse. There must be another reason behind it. I have been thinking for a long time, but I can't think of the answer. Suddenly, it occurs to me that what better way to answer such a question than using Lenormand and Tarot? (My question is: Why do so many boys want one-night sex instead of commitment? You can also try to interpret it. You are welcome to leave a message in the comments.)
These cards are really interesting. The lady is in the center. The cards on the left are all good, and the ones on the right are all bad. The lady is a neutral cards, so they immediately give me a sense of contradiction. Coincidentally, I did not preselect the lady to represent my best partner, she still appeared in the middle, and in Gay's relationship interpretation, the gentleman represents the querent (that is me), and the lady represents the partner, regardless of your role. The second coincidence is that the heart is the core card in the interpretation of relationships, which happens to be here. Combined other cards, I think the answer is the contradiction between longing for the luck of love and the fearof dangerous and cunning betrayal. (I dare not say that everyone is like this, but at least these cards represent most of the people I met, and I have met many people.) Later, I think that most of the people that I met are those who have had relationships. So in the interpretation we see the word "fear", but I don't understand why they have it, so I asked the Marseille Tarot.
The three cards here tell us the story of a brave knight who armed himself with armor in order to be prepared for the challenge. We see him rushing into the jungle of 9 of wands, which is densely inter-winded and has little room for him to move. The intricate road makes his task more difficult. 9 of wands represents a kind of uneasiness and fear brought to people by taking risks. Why does he continue if he is so afraid (if he is not afraid, he wouldn't have armed himself so tightly)? It's because of the flower in the middle of the 4 of swords, maybe he went to the jungle just to give it to his beloved lady; it's his motivation, the thing he cares most about, the support that overcomes his fear, the reason he's afraid is because he cares.
This Knight reminds me of a person I once knew who is a bodyguard, so it fits the Knight of Swords very well. He is not afraid of death, but lost in his feelings. He keeps an open relationship with his boyfriend, but every time when he talks about him, he always has this look of happiness on his face. I know that he loves his boyfriend very much, but I asked him why he wanted to have an open relationship. He said that he once had a wife before (he is bisexual) and loved her very much, but his wife cheated on him and caused him a great sadness, so he chose this kind of relationship, so that even if they got separated, they would not be so sad. At that time, I realized that a man like him, who did not fear death, was afraid of being abandoned, but this fear was because he still cared about his boyfriend, otherwise he would not worry about the pain of being abandoned.
Similarly, when we choose to lie, it is because we care about the feelings of the others and how they see us; when we choose to isolate and hide ourselves, it is because we care about our feelings; behind every fear, we care, but fear is absolutely not an excuse for your wrong behavior. There's nothing wrong with open relationships, but many people do that not because they want to enjoy the moment.
But is fear responsible for our actions? I believe everything has two sides, including fear. If you are afraid of others being hurt knowing the truth, understand the importance of the facts and of being responsible for your behavior; if you are afraid of being abandoned and betrayed, learn to cherish every relationship; true courage is not to escape, but to stick to your heart and tell yourself that I am willing to accept all possible outcomes.
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